I came up with some pretty essential backstory today. I don’t know if I have it in me to write much more. Most days writing and storytelling are my passion. Some day I’m weirdly repulsed by all of it and it feels like an exercise in futility. I wonder if other writers experience this. I wonder if musicians and artists experience this. I was to descend into a dark cavern and hide there for eight weeks. I want to bite anything that gets close to the mouth of my cavern.
I’m aware my readers have heard this before. It’s all part of the cycle. Part of my cycle at least. I aspire to use my life and soul to create, but striving and being seen go against my nature sometimes.
Art is about communication and sometimes I don’t want to communicate. I want to disappear into the expanse. I want to be unseen and unknown.
Today is such a day. It’s probably an important part of the motivational puzzle, even if I don’t understand how. It might mean I’ve been pushing too hard, or maybe it’s just something that happens on a clock. Anyway, I hope all the other creators out there are feeling safe and fulfilled and have holes to hide in, should they need them.
I’m going to vanish now.
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